If you’re a female, when you first started getting your period as a teen (or younger), you may have been a little freaked out or over the moon excited to get your membership to the “womanhood” club.
Menstruation (among many other intimate topics) may have been a taboo topic in your childhood home, and in many families, isn’t something well-understood or talked about. When menstruation isn’t discussed or is seen as something that needs to be “hidden,” it can lead to unfavorable thoughts later in our lives too.
As a woman, you might have a love-hate relationship with your period. You may love it because you’re trying to avoid pregnancy, or you may hate it because it’s embarrassing or a pain in the gut. Though, we often hear about the period woes more than the welcoming of our monthly visitor. Especially if your period causes you discomfort, pain, cramps, or other less than awesome physical symptoms.
Loving your cycle is a journey and a gift.
Learning to love your monthly cycle is a journey, especially if you haven’t always had bright and shiny feelings each month. The good news is that you can learn to love your period, and a big part of that can be getting intimate and having sex while you’re menstruating.
First, we need to come to accept and love our periods. Notice any trash talk you engage in about your period and turn those negative words and thoughts into feel-good ones. Perhaps you can start honoring your cycle and nourishing your beautiful body and treating it like the temple it is. Think of your period as a divine gift that’s a sign of your health and fertility.
Period sex is an entirely different experience from woman-to-woman, man-to-man, partner(s)-to-partner(s), and even from month-to-month. And if you’re curious about learning to find pleasure in period sex, here are some ways you can explore this:
1. Rest up
During your period, you may naturally be inclined to get a little more rest and self-care than usual. Treat your period days as a time to take extra care of yourself. If you know when your period is coming, consider blocking time on your schedule to relax, work a little less, take some time off, and maybe even enjoy a relaxing bath, massage, or other treats. You can also view menstruation as a time of cleansing. Your body is naturally cleaning itself once each month. Take advantage of these days to spend a few minutes practicing stillness and enjoying more nourishing foods.
2. Celebrate being a woman
As a woman, you get to bleed each month, and if you love being a woman, you can tap into those special feelings that come with honoring being a female. Periods are a normal and natural part of womanhood.
3. Get comfortable with the mess
Sex can be messy as it is, and period penetrative sex will probably be even messier. With just a little preparation, however, you can minimize the cleanup. You could throw a towel down on the bed to make post-sex cleanup easy, plan to hop in the shower right away, or even move it to the shower.
4. Make sure your partner(s) are okay with it. You may want to let your partner know ahead of time to avoid any surprises and this way you can talk about in advance to help make sure you’re both comfortable with the idea. Both of you may be able to look at it as a sacred time between you.
5. Think beyond vaginal sex. You can still get intimate with your partner and perform oral sex on them; you can masturbate on yourself or mutually with your partner. You can also experiment with anal sex too. There are many different ways to enjoy sex with someone you care about. You can play with some kissing for hours, try tantric breathing or eye gazing and potentially bring on intense intimacy and orgasm without any touching.
If you’re curious about period sex, give it a try and explore it next time Aunt Flo comes to visit. As you learn more about yourself, your partner(s), and your body, you may come to love period sex. You may come to hate it too, and that’s okay! We’re all unique sexual beings and we all have differing turn-ons and preferences.
Would you like to learn more or chat with us about how to make the most of your monthly cycle? Get in touch HERE.
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Sexology International, like all of our work, is for people of all sexual preferences and all forms of gender expression, including people whose identity is something other than male or female. As such, we like to use gender-neutral pronouns. More recently accepted alternatives include words like “ze” and “hir” or the universal pronoun “they.” Throughout our work, we will be doing our best to use alternative pronouns, such as “they,” whenever gender or plurality is unimportant. In doing so we hope it helps everyone to feel included in the discussion and that it inspires you to think outside of traditional sex and gender binaries.