You know the saying — opposites attract. But do they really? And what’s behind this idea?
Yes — opposites attract. The secret to sexual attraction is opposition and specifically the undeniable pull we may feel toward someone who has a sexual energy that’s different to our own.
The most powerful attraction is the innate force between two poles, and when it comes to sensual energy, the two poles we’re referring to are masculine energy and feminine energy.
Every one of us has a combination of both of these energy types within us, and we may naturally feel more in sync with one more than the other.
The law of attraction
The law of attraction works like this: the more opposite the sexual energies between two people — masculine vs. feminine energy — the more powerful the resulting attraction will be in the relationship. The differing energy can cause more sparks.
Also, know that masculine and feminine energies aren’t gender-specific. Anyone can identify and embody either type of energy. The key is to learn your true nature and how that energy shows up for you. And then, you can begin to notice the energy of those you find most compelling.
If individuals in a relationship exude similar energy, perhaps both have more masculine energy, the main attraction between them may be decreased. If there’s a notable difference, where one person is extraordinarily feminine and the other is more masculine, then there will be a more powerful physical pull.
Attraction does more than just fan your relationship’s flame. Each person works to consciously cultivate their own natural sexual energy — masculine or feminine. They can do this by learning more about the energy they innately express and how to further develop it.
Understand where your energy aligns
To understand how to foster more polarity in our sexual relationships, we first need to know which energy we feel we instinctively personify the most. Ask yourself if you relate more to masculine or feminine energy by reviewing the following characteristics.
Here are some characteristics of each energy type to consider:
Characteristics of Masculine Energy
- Physically strong
- Rigid, direct, aggressive
- Solid in purpose
- Focused on one task at a time
- Aims to fix problems
- Seeks challenges
- Thrives on competition
- Uses words instead of emotions
Characteristics of Feminine Energy
- Soft, light
- Nurturing, caring, compassionate
- Moved primarily by emotions
- Opening to, and offering love
- Attraction and charm
- Draws others in through opening to beauty and love
- Desires to be noticed and feel attractive
- Connected to the body and the flow of elements
- Wants to feel understood
- Hears mood and tone primarily
Looking at the list of traits, you may notice you naturally possess some qualities that are predominantly masculine or feminine. You might also notice that the type of partner(s) you look for has characteristics in the opposing energy. This is why if you’re primarily masculine, you’d be most excited by someone who embodies more feminine qualities — the opposite of your energies.
We all need both masculine and feminine energy
Your masculine side may be great for accomplishing things and getting ahead by checking items off of your to-do list, while your feminine side will bring out your loving and supporting nature, letting others feel seen and heard.
Knowing your partner(s)
Once you understand your predominant sexual energy, start to notice your partner’s go-to energy. When you learn to understand it further, you can foster even more polarity to drive up the passion between you.
Here are some ways you can increase your dominant energy:
Increase masculine energy
- Surround yourself with others who exude masculine energy and possess more than you
- Compete in a sport and practice aggression in a healthy and safe way
- Lifting weights
- Reducing weight and cortisol
Increase feminine energy
- Find freedom through moving your body
- Create a sacred space with love
- Design a daily ritual to connect with your inner light that might include meditation or journaling
- Find ways to express creativity
- Feel your feelings — even if it’s uncomfortable
When opposition wanes, the attraction in your relationship will too. And if you fight against your core energetic essence, you could also be blocking the possibility of true love and deeper relationships.
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Sexology International, like all of our work, is for people of all sexual preferences and all forms of gender expression, including people whose identity is something other than male or female. As such, we like to use gender-neutral pronouns. More recently accepted alternatives include words like “ze” and “hir” or the universal pronoun “they.” Throughout our work, we will be doing our best to use alternative pronouns, such as “they,” whenever gender or plurality is unimportant. In doing so we hope it helps everyone to feel included in the discussion and that it inspires you to think outside of traditional sex and gender binaries.