Eyes are windows to the soul.

We’re willing to bet we’re not the first ones to tell you this.

The original instant messenger, with merely a flash of our eyes, we can send immediate communication about everything from interest to arousal, delight, disgust, and anger. Eye contact is an extremely potent, and often vulnerable, and completely natural way to communicate without words.

From birth, we’ve needed eye contact to grow into healthy children, and then adults. And as an adult, we use eye contact to connect with others, especially when it comes to sharing our attraction and even arousal.

In Buddhist and Hindu tantric traditions, eye gazing (or soul gazing as it’s referred to) is a sacred practice used to heighten intimacy and build deeper trust, stimulate the heart and sexual energy, and create a road to a higher power.

By gazing into another person’s eyes, you transcend the ego and begin to tap into the universal energies in your partner(s) and within.

And from here, you can reach a higher state of consciousness. Did you know that Rumi, the 13th-century poet, considered soul gazing as a means of reaching true enlightenment?

Through eye contact with our partner(s), we can connect more deeply and tap into all of these magical powers. Here are five fantastic reasons to give eye gazing a try.

1. It heightens sensual desire

Researchers have discovered that we’re more likely to find people sexually attractive when they look directly at us, make eye contact, and smile.When you look your partner(s) directly in the eyes, it stimulates a natural chemical response in their body—called phenylethylamine; it’s also known as the “love drug” for its ability to stimulate magnetism.

And if you’re interested in a potential mate, you can easily communicate this with a glance. No awkward opening lines required. This could be linked to our instinctive survival tactics that push us to exude more energy in the presence of potential partners who show mutual signs of interest.

2. It gets your (ahem) sexi flowing

A pure eye gaze can turn you on like the flip of a switch. When you lock eyes with a potential partner and you witness the clues of a sexual invitation like slightly parted lips and those “bedroom eyes,” it triggers physiological reactions in the body that get your sexual juices circulating. Eye gazing will also strengthen the trust between you and your partner(s)—and with more trust between you, you’ll find you’re more comfortable letting go which in turn intensifies your sexual energy.

3. Intensifying intimacy

Magic happens when we look into another person’s eyes and hold their glance. Magic in the form of broken down barriers, heart flutters, and good vibes seem to flow more freely and naturally. Use eye gazing to create even more intense sensations of intimacy when touching or even to move past a silly argument. Often a loving flash of your peepers can stir up feelings inside that are more powerful than touch alone.

4. Build trust

Nothing shows that you’re more trustworthy than being able to create and maintain eye contact. Do you remember lying to your parents as a teenager and having them ask you to look them in the eye? They wanted to know if they could trust you. While we’ve moved on from those days, we can use the power of our eye gaze to deepen the connections with our partner and build trust. And with more connection and trust comes more intimacy.

5. Rock-solid confidence

You’ve met those people at a party or networking event who seem to be staring directly into your soul. The way they look at you when engaged in conversation makes you feel like you’re the only two people in the room. Sounds like a delightful way to feel when you’re alone with your partner(s) too, right? Get some of that unshakeable confidence by practicing holding a gaze just slightly longer than it feels comfortable and begin to watch your perceived confidence soar. 

Eye gazing can swing open the floodgates to a more profound appreciation and deep knowing of your partner(s), and it’s this sacred bond that can be the key to a long-lasting, passionate relationship.

When you’re ready to open up to another person and intensify your sensual connection and intimacy, the eyes have it.

Want more ideas on how to play with eye gazing or other bonding experiences? Get in touch.


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Art by @mikillustrates

Sexology International, like all of our work, is for people of all sexual preferences and all forms of gender expression, including people whose identity is something other than male or female. As such, we like to use gender-neutral pronouns. More recently accepted alternatives include words like “ze” and “hir” or the universal pronoun “they.” Throughout our work, we will be doing our best to use alternative pronouns, such as “they,” whenever gender or plurality is unimportant. In doing so we hope it helps everyone to feel included in the discussion and that it inspires you to think outside of traditional sex and gender binaries.


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